i think my self-esteem was suffering because i had this weird thing going on where i would smash any good idea with a bad or critical one.
like today, i realized that one of my co-workers sorta tries to seduce me by touching her butt all time time. i knew it from before but i told myself, don't be a pervert, don't look. like, i make this good, exciting thing into a bad thing. no wonder i am always stuck. today, instead i said in my mind. it's ok to look and enjoy that because it's a sign i am healthy and straight. and, i felt this new thing, new possibilities rising up in my mind. and, i think i do this type of of criticism, smashing, rejecting thing to almost everything. so my goal is to start accepting good things that happen. i am going to let good things come into my life and i will accept it. like if someone comes at me with friendship, i won't think in my head 10 things that is bad about the person and reject them. i will think of 5 good things about them and give it a chance instead. my shift in thinking is coming from that book i am reading... "the magic of thinking big." i have rejected so many good opportunities in life by being anally perfectionistic. this has got to change.

お疲れ様っていつも聞くけど、なんで人はこれを使うんだろ？疲れと言う物を意識しすぎてると言うか、疲れている人間をさらにサブリミナル効果を使って精神的に押さえつけてないか?　このセリフの作者は悪魔に違いない。きっと隠れＳであろう。日本にまた元気になってもらいたいなら、こう言う弱みに繋がるセリフは、削除し、元気あふれる新たなセリフを考えていく事が大事だと、僕は思う。

1. when you start smiling all the time, you start to notice most people don't look very happy. only about 5% of the people are smiling most of the time.
2. after forcing a smile the physiological movement triggers an emotional reaction inside myself. it is related to and starts at the heart and that energy loosens the face and body.
3. now, i am able to trigger that smile emotion without forcing the smile. but, it's easy to locate it by smiling first.
4. when you smile, everyone seems to start smiling too.
5. guest who usually communicate with me coldly are showing more warmth and conversation. that's the power of the smile.
6. even if the smile is fake and others see it, it doesn't matter. i am doing it for myself and for my happiness. i will fake my smile until it is real.
7. a small problem with smiling all the time is that it lessens anger. i sorta used anger to get through these years. i got comfortable with the anger energy so it's hard to let it go. it does have it's perks. the alpha energy that comes with anger is the most lucrative part.
8. smiling energy connects with other smilers energies. so it sorta snowballs into a larger smile energy. maybe this is called happiness.
9. smiling energy people have a group aura. it is easy to connect with it, you just have to smile at one of them, and you are part of it.
10. smiling softens the face, chest and neck areas. it triggers an internal physio-emotional-massage. it's like doing ecstasy without doing drugs.

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yess... this is a good indicator of whether it's a fake celebrity or not.

i added tony hawk, shaq, anthony robbins, brook burke lol

add this to your "about me" section... fill in the ?????????? with the url to your preferred jpeg or gif. good luck! it worked for me!

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i've been doing t.i. pushups and it has changed the way my back looks. they really work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVMYFfBo3g8

basically, you get dumbbells on the floor, and do push-ups on them. when your arms are in the extended position you pull up one of the dumbbells up which works out your triceps and back.

i've been smiling every chance i get. when i wake up, when i'm driving in my car. whenever i find my face in apathy, i just force it into a smile and hold for 10 seconds. i try to remind myself to do this routine at the top of every hour. it's almost becoming habitually spontaneous.

i started doing this because of what i read here... http://mooks-dayoo.xanga.com/716994333/top-10-reasons-to-smile/

for years i had been reading a lot of self-help books, and watching my health so as to increase my chances of having a happy life. and, a large portion of my drive was also to attract or to have more relations with the opposite sex.

my body is good enough. i mean, i should be able to get girls based on that. my face is ok too, so i should be able to attract girls that way too.
so, i thought. but nothing comes of it. so i was sorta disappointed.

but, i think what i was missing is that the physical value has to be backed up by some positive emotional value too.
otherwise, it's just physical. and just physical is quite boring and repetitive after a while.

so, smiling is adding a new dimension to my value.

i am starting to realize that sometimes. when i have lots of negative thoughts. it's much more useful to just smile and think of nothing.
a simple smile for 10 seconds is 1000 times more valuable than 10 seconds of negative thoughts.

and, you would think a smile is just a smile. but the repercussions of smiling have enormous effect on one's emotional health.

see, if you are frowning, or angry and or showing no emotions most of the time. when people talk to you, they will mirror the same face and energy towards you. each social transaction will be negative experience and weigh down on your self-esteem.  even if you mean no harm towards the other person, your face will be mirrored by the other person, like it or not.

the magical thing about this formula is that when you force yourself to smile all the time. the people around you will mirror that same face, if they like it or not. it's almost like a instinctive reaction to smile when a person is smiling. so, every personal interaction will start, stay and end with a smile on both sides.

and, when you are smiling, it is very difficult to harbor negative thoughts or emotions.

your facial expression forces a new attitude from within. that new attitude and energy is the thing i am interested in right now.
this positive attitude is what attracts people and keeps them interested in you.

i always was able to get some type of reaction from the opposite sex, just by mere physical-ness. but, that never extended to anything bigger.
but, when you are emitting a positive attitude, they can't stop watching it. and, it's not just the physical, it's the emotional value that they have their eyes on.

so before i was getting tons of surveys while working... my initial charm would be enough to get them to do it. but, by the end of the experience they are left bereft of any emotional value from the experience.

now, i start it with a smile... the whole experience is kept at the smiling emotional tone, then it is finished strong with positive emotional tone. i see them leaving me shaking my hands and smiling largely. it's a different experience altogether. i'm doing everything the same, just with a smile. and, it's making a huge difference.

that's why in my pulse i wrote that i think smiling will change my life bc i have been doing this for 2-3 days and i see lots of improvement.

the smiling energy has a snowballing effect as well. a smile leads to initial positive energy between two people, then you can use that energy to create a conversation between the two that feels positively charged and this opens up new possibilities that weren't there before.

all from one little smile...

the solution was a very basic one.
i just need to keep practicing it until it is a natural part of me.

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