i can't believe this is included in the olympics...

but this...

or this...

isn't.

i think it's because i watched troy right before going to work. on my lunch break i was walking towards subways and this one asian guy was walking toward me. the path narrowed and one of us had to move aside. but, both of us were sorta t'd up and didn't want to compromise. so his chest slammed into my elbow. i think i heard him say sorry. but, i just walked by.

actually, in all honesty... it feels to be like this again. i was giving up a lot of my t-power so that i can be amiable with co-workers and guests at work. i want to watch troy again if it helps. i want to buy the gladiator dvd too. i think watching man-films is very useful in increasing aggressiveness. aggressive music helps too.

so i figured out this huge thing. sometimes you can't wait for external factors to decide your feeling good in life. it's possible just to force myself to feel good without anything good happening. it's almost like a miracle mechanism. you can unlimitedly feel good all the time if you have the will to do so. "i feel great." that's all i need to say to myself, and i'm back at that desirable level. i don't need to win the lottery or have lots of money or get girls.. i just feel great. lol the thing is.. i have a feeling the good things in life come after you figure out how to feel good without having anything. bc when u feel like crap you attract all the wrong things. but, when u feel good all time time, lots of good things start to get attracted into your life. it's almost like a reward from your environment. since i feel good and sharing it with the people around me, they give some of that positive energy back and it just snowballs into better things in life.

ps: another thing related to this i've been thinking about lately... is that whenever i find myself criticizing somebody it's usually because i feel like crap and i'm not happy seeing them happier than me. this might be the root of things like jealousy. also, trying to be superior to others is also something to compensate for lack of feeling good. bc if you feel good, you don't have to be critical of others or jealous of their happiness bc u already feel good. so maybe if i become adept at feeling good, i will be less critical, jealous and arrogant. i won't need these things to feel good any more.

i just saw a commercial on tv for onlinebootycall.com ... wtf. lol

1. brookeburke
     

   In bed with my son. Sharing cereal. Rain is sick. Poor baby. 10 minutes ago from TweetDeck

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2. dsmukai
     

   i need to learn voice tone control.. if i can always sound pleasant, then i think i can get along with people better. 19 minutes ago from web

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3. heidimontag
     

   I cant believe its on 11 Days till Christmas !!!! Are you guys excited ?

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2474404

Watch content roll in that was posted just SECONDS ago.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&esrch=RTSearch&tbo=s&tbs=mbl%3A1&q=xanga&aq=f&oq=&aqi=g10

http://motoring.asiaone.com/Motoring/News/Story/A1Story20091208-184656.html

today, i bought a replacement wallet. it had been 15 years since i had done so. lol the wallet was coach so it lasted a long time. but still... the update probably should have come much earlier. i think the problem was that i had no real good sense of money and how to spend it reasonably. i realize that when you don't have a reasonable money budget, then you either overspend like a fool or over-save like a fool depending on your disposition. i was the type that saved like a fool. anyhow, this new money budget system changed something in me that was stuck there for 15 years. this is a big change. i realize that people who are miserly or seem greedy aren't really doing it because they are bad people. they just don't have a good money budget system to allow them to share or use a portion of their money for enjoyment. so, since they hadn't done the preliminary math concerning their money they always feel like they are in survival mode and need to conserve in every moment. so they come off stingy and ungenerous. and, i feel a lot better, like a freedom of spirit of sorts because i have leisurely cash to spend. if a money management system can help this much... i wonder if there is a religious, ethical or emotional system that can help me manage my soul and ways of thinking outside money.

anyhow, i will recommend again "all your worth" by elizabeth warren and amelia warren tyagi.

.19cents at amazon... lol

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0743269888/ref=sr_1_olp_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1260245695&sr=8-1&condition=used

basically they say... it's 50% necessities, 20% savings 30% enjoyment.

but for myself, i changed it a little to....

50% necessities, 20% enjoyment and 30% to debt repayment. anything left over goes into savings.

is there a way to post anonymously... i probably only post 50% of what's on my mind, because i can't say everything. but, i want those types of posts out there so i can get traffic and get google adsense hits.

at the bottom of this main entry menu, i see public, private, protected. can't they add an anynomous, but public button?