fuck, i shouldn't have answered that call.
they called me at 6am to come in early.
i was already awake at 6am and feeling pretty good so thought why not.
bad decision.
they stuck me putting out the frozen products.
no wonder they needed someone.
nobody wanted to do it.
next time they call, i'm ignoring it.
nice guys finish last.

----
damn, how did i get through all those days when i didn't have work?
i work, work out, run, eat, do a little xanga, clean room... dude there's nothing else to do after that.
what did i used to do to fill in all this blank time?
wtf?!

i thought watching the comedy channel would make me into a funnier person.
i thought it would adjust my brain to becoming perceptive to jokes.

but, most of the jokes on the comedy channel are twisted.
and, the comedians don't look or think very healthily.

they are abnormal people.
majority of them seem like losers.
borderline jokes that i used to think was funny.
self-depreciating, low self-esteem style jokes.

so, my boot up channel is going back to vh1 (33) w/ mtv (34) right next to it.

also, i'm switching my morning alarm clock from 102.7 KISSFM to 105.9 POWER 106.
right around 6:45-7am, Ryan Seacrest is doing the shoutout segment of his show.
i have listened to junior highschool kids shoutout to their friends every morning for about a month now.
it gets so boring.
i hope power 106 has music on about that time.
i didn't want to use power 106 bc i felt the vibe there is too mexican.
but, anything will be better than ryan seacrest's shoutouts.

ever since taking the ginseng, i naturally wake up at 6am
before, i had the alarm clock wake me up around 6:45

i start practicing bboy moves few mintutes after waking up.
and, i feel like going outside and running.
too much energy?

i sleep around 10:30pm, getting plenty of sleep.. but..
i don't know if this is good or not.

i take the ginseng early in the morning at breakfast too.

during the day, i can tell my mind works faster, as well.
solutions expressed as images, flashes into my mind quicker and earlier.

maybe only mental drawback, is that i need to adjust to this new speed of thinking.

or maybe it's because i stopped taking the alcohol.

damn, started 2 new things at the same time.
i can't tell which is causing what. lol
oh well, good changes anyways.

1. working at t***** is probably the best thing that could have happened to me.
2. i am actually very social in essence.
3. i talk to the strangers with ease. but it can be taken a little further.
4. if i master "friendly" and keep pushing forward with this. i will eventually become normal, maybe even quite good at people skills.
5. people responded to me very positively, today. i know i am improving. a little more tweaking to really figure this out.
6. this can't be right, i just checked the weight scale and it shows 138.7 pounds lolololololol
7. i have taken this weight thing too far. hahahahahahahahaahahahaha
8. i know what did this... it's the cessation of alcohol. i was taking in all kinds of calories from drinking alcohol. now, combined with working out 7 days a week, running everyday, and limiting my food intake. i've come too far. 138.7 hahahahahaahahahaha. i can't believe. it.
9. the solution is simple. just eat more at breakfast & lunch, but keep the dinner servings low so that i have a good night's digestion while sleeping.
10. this really cute girl at work was actually being proactive in talking to me today. it made me really happy. she is one of the cutest ones in the store too.
11. man, i need to figure out how to be more lighthearted & fun. but, i think this will naturally come when i master "friendly".
12. my testosterone is back up, but now, i have "friendly" to tame it to social, acceptable level. but, if some dude wants a t-challenge, i am certainly ready for some energy battle. it's funny, u can get a really t'd up dude really looking for some trouble, and disarm him instantly with a friendly smile.
13. actually, i'm getting so confident that even if some dude seems to want a challenge, i can just maintain my own energy and not let them influence me. if a person allows you to shift energy, to try to top theirs, it's a sign that they are either close to you in power or higher than you. if you just maintain, you are just being you and they had no power to influence your biochemistry.
14. this one dude at work thought i was 23. this other one thought i was 19. when i told them i was 32, they were really shocked. like really shocked like in a daze for a few seconds lol. i think what keeps me looking and feeling young is the music i listen to and the interest in breakdancing. so, my soul feel like the new generations. it also helps that i'm 138 pounds. my peers are mostly all fat from just working all the time. it's not often you find a 32 year old that works out, runs 7 days a week.

i love these bboy videos and sometimes they got the best music.
i search the internet over with no results as to song name, most of the time.
these are unique, custom made songs not circulating amongst the general population.
no way to find it.
so only solution is...
save youtube audio to mp3.
http://vixy.net/
it's all mine now. muhahahahaha

1. do it the right way, the first time around.
2. take your time.
3. set alarm for the 4th hour.
4. i am unusually attracted to 40-50 year old asian women. i think it's because they let out a very raw overt sexual energy. they usually give me a proportionately similar interest until i open my mouth.
5. i need to learn to adjust my emotional tone & voice.
6. it really sucks, even if i really like a person, for some reason my voice doesn't adjust to express this. i talk to a total stranger that i don't like at all, the same way i talk to a person i like. wtf?
7. my pimp status will not be leveled up until i learn voice control & emotional control.
8. even if a person is talking to me in a very soft, kind voice, my voice in return is kinda bitter.
9. voice & emotional control is the next frontier of social adjustment.
10. but, it is all good. the more i see, the more i can improve.
11. i see more now, than i did 3 months ago.
12. keep growing.
13. deleted 14, 15,16 17. clandestine sexual posts.

i noticed there is a subway in the center that i work at.
they sell mini-subs for 2.59.
they are just like a 6" but maybe 2" shorter @ 4".
it's the perfect serving for healthy eating.
2.59!
that's cheaper than a 16 oz mango-a-go-go w/ immunity boost...
3.15.
i was supplementing a whole meal on jamba juice.
and, it was helping me lose weight BIGtime.

but now that i quit drinking, i'm losing too much weight.
that's a lot of calories i was taking in w/ 1 beer a night.
last time i checked i was at 141 pounds lol

so, to counter this excessive weight loss, this turkey mini-sub came at the perfect time.
i chose only the healthiest vegetables and will only opt for turkey or tuna.
man, so perfect.
i love it.

man, lots of people live in a state of slavery.
i mean, they might make 50-130k/year but the amount of hours they work is ridiculous.
it's basically slavery if you are working 50 hours a week minimum.

now, i know why i sneaked my way out of not working for 10 years after graduating from college.
i knew since the 8th grade that working full-time was no way to live.
and, after 3 months of holding a normal job, it only confirms my theory that i had as a child.
i mean, it's great if you can keep a job that you like and work the amount of hours you want.
but if there is no freedom in deciding how many hours you work, and the corporation forces 50 minimum on you, it fucking sucks.
i am talking about the position that my managers are in.

all this money that i am making, i am just gonna save it up. i'll try to save up about 50k and start trading again.
i know i can make money trading because my track record shows it.
i'm net positive in my trading, but all the losses came from the scams that i put my money in.
but, even if i start trading again, i'll hold a normal job too. maybe just on the weekends.
so that i can stay connected to real, normal people.

i have a new goal:
i want to hold majority ownership of the stock of the corporation that i work for.
and, change some policies so that it is easier on its' employees.
slavery shouldn't be allowed in america.

i felt really good today.
i know a large part of it is from cessation of alcohol.
instead of feeling the warmth from the alcohol, i feel my own body heat.
i think when you drink for a long period of time, you lose some sensory input.
also, my libido is back up.
i think when you drink you lose some testosterone.
i read about it, and now believe it.
i'm so glad i decided to stop drinking.
so many good things happening in a row lately.
i'm getting my groove back.