this T***** job is great and all.
it is one of the most fulfilling experiences ever.
but, it's not paying jack shit.
it is a training ground for me to acquire social skills.
and, it is working out as planned.
my social skills are upping each day.

my method of income was daytrading.
but in order to do that i need 50k.

i should be spending my spare time trying to figure out ways to make some money.
so i can start trading again.

but, i promised myself only to start trading again only if...

1. i am trading with my own hard earn money
2. after all my loans are paid off.
3. i am trading with money i can afford to lose. meaning, i have enough savings as back up.

it's gonna be a while till my loans are all paid off... ugh.
repayment of the scam funds will take 7 years.
i need an alternate stream of income!

bench 190 pounds PR
this time with a spotter.
did it 2 times.
i can prolly get 195 next week..

protein bar before working out
jamba juice free boost.. soy protein for lunch.

c'mon give me 150 pounds

1. neptune's net on the PCH for first time.
2. 3 point turn on the PCH for the first time.
3. did 5 leg lifts, inverted, upside down @ 25 ft. holding double ropes, new pr
4. got along with mother on way back from work. enthusiastic tone of voice can heal any wounds.
5. protein bar before santa monica bars work out
6. petco (wilshire, santa monica-ish), gnc (atlantic blvd, monterey park)
7. japan's takeshima got 2nd gold medal 100m/200m breaststroke. (gonna retire)
8. chi sat in my room for first time, in corner next to closet.
9. took pics of leo carillo state beach near mullholland highway.
10. while i was driving by cute asian girl in red dress walking, wind blew up her dress right when i was looking. god thanks for that wind, perfect timing. (nebraska ave. west la)

daily ponder: allowing the mind to create solutions on it's own works faster and smoother than forcing the mind to calculate by force. and, having the faith and relaxedness to allow this to happen.

switching to a diet rich in eggs, tuna, salmon, yogurt, protein bars.
gonna increase my food intake by half a cup each meal.
the increased portion will be pure protein.
141 is too low. i want about 150, pure muscle.

since my body is already lean & ripped.
i'm gonna start maxing out on all my routines for mass.
2 reps max @ one set.

santa monica today. double ropes!

i'm at the foothill of a nice momentous rally.
i can feel it coming.
but, one thing lies in my way.
"extremeness"
i'm not going to over push myself just because i will have momentum of health & vitality.
i will keep my activities at 75%
cuz, when i go too far, i know i can stunt my rally by becoming injured or stepping on other's feet.

yesterday, i was sore from the double ropes and sore from all the bruises from the pommel horse training.
i worked an 8 hour shift.
then, i went to the gym and had so much energy that i tried to max-out at benching.
i put on 205 pounds. i weigh 140. that's 65 pounds above my weight.
i didn't even ask for a spot and just went for it.
i got it up half way, but freaking couldn't get it up, and came straight back down onto my chest.
altho i had control over the weight, it was just lying on my chest and i couldn't do anything.
so i had to shout, "HELP!!" and 2 dudes took it off my chest.

see? too extreme is not good. i'm gonna fly this one smoothly from here on out, at a reasonable rate.

i am starting to realize that creating unnecessary competition just back fires on me.
instead of trying to "win AGAINST people."
i'm gonna just try to "win IN life."
this way, i'm not challenging everyone around me.
and creating unnecessary resistance where it could have been prevented.
less struggling, more enjoying and accomplishing the goals i set for myself.

i think the key is to speak from the chest.
it actually works.
it was suggested by some random guy on a message board.
i read so many books teaching me to speak from the diaphragm or from other weird places.
all of them felt awkward, but speaking from the chest creates a natural deep voice that feels natural.

my body fat % is 6%.
the bally's trainer checked it for me with a machine.
he told me that if i gained about 2 pounds of muscles, i would be in ideal shape.
i weigh 140 pounds, so i need 142.
body fat percentage for male athletes is 6% to 13%.

6% was not easy to accomplish.
work out 7 days a week, run 7 days a week. portion control of diet to the max.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_fat_percentage

it's finally come down to this.
i'm resorting to shaving my head with a zero fade.
i don't really want to do this because this length makes me look kinda gangster.
that 1 fade make me look innocent enough while being bald headed.

i am starting to see more white hairs even at 1 fade.
prolly most people don't notice it, but I DO.
i don't like it. makes me feel old.
zero fade from now on, each week.