July 11, 2008

  • first touch.

    the hottest manager in the store touched me on the shoulder today.
    out of nowhere after saying something to me.

    here, i thought she hated me for being such an obnoxious worker.

    i know work-wise we have some sort of competition going.
    a superiority contest.
    who's smarter, who's in control type of contest.

    but i sorta felt a sexual attraction between us too.
    when i peeked at her breasts one time, she didn't back away.
    she actually pushed her breasts towards my eyes to see better.

    that touch confirmed my theory.
    maybe i have a chance with this girl.

    at the most animal level, i think we have an attraction.
    but, i don't even know if we are socially/communication-wise compatible.

    maybe flirting is good enough for now.

    maybe she is being nice to me because she feels my humility affirmations.
    i kinda backed down from the superiority contest, and allowed her to become the dominant aura in the workplace.
    ---
    ps.
    also, and maybe this had something to do with the touch..
    today i sorta dressed better than usual.
    usually it's a hood or t-shirt w/ khakis.
    today, i wore a collared shirt and tucked it in.

    yesterday i sorta started thinking maybe my life sucks because i wear crappy clothing. 
    my usual dress attire is no different from my gym attire.
    one of my richest friends gave me a lecture one time about dressing in white t-shirts all the time.
    he said it's clothing that people wear to sleep. so i'm walking around in my sleep clothes.
    i ignored his advice and continued through with the cholo-type attire.
    now i know what he was talking about.

    i noticed that whenever i wear nicer clothes, i am more confident.
    it's such a shallow thing to have your clothing dictate how you feel.
    but, the reality is that wearing nice clothes does have a huge effect.

    yesterday i thought to myself, "dress for success."
    so i dressed up.
    even if i felt crappy and sick, i dressed up.
    and, i think it worked.

    people are judgmental, and assume.
    so, if you dress nicely they think positive things about you.
    they give you more respect, simply for wearing nice clothes.
    i guess it's human nature, it's retarded but might as well work it to my advantage.

    birds of a feather flock together.
    if i dress nicer, i'll attract more beautiful, attractive, well dressed people into my life.