December 5, 2009

• supportive good thoughts instead of bad ones...

  i think my self-esteem was suffering because i had this weird thing going on where i would smash any good idea with a bad or critical one.
  like today, i realized that one of my co-workers sorta tries to seduce me by touching her butt all time time. i knew it from before but i told myself, don't be a pervert, don't look. like, i make this good, exciting thing into a bad thing. no wonder i am always stuck. today, instead i said in my mind. it's ok to look and enjoy that because it's a sign i am healthy and straight. and, i felt this new thing, new possibilities rising up in my mind. and, i think i do this type of of criticism, smashing, rejecting thing to almost everything. so my goal is to start accepting good things that happen. i am going to let good things come into my life and i will accept it. like if someone comes at me with friendship, i won't think in my head 10 things that is bad about the person and reject them. i will think of 5 good things about them and give it a chance instead. my shift in thinking is coming from that book i am reading... "the magic of thinking big." i have rejected so many good opportunities in life by being anally perfectionistic. this has got to change.

  • 10:56 pm
  • 7 Comments