putting people or things on a pedestal.

i'm trying to understand how to achieve bigger things. and, i think one obstacle is making too big a deal about any one thing. if you put something on a pedestal then, it seems or feel much higher than your capacity can achieve. like if someone just adamantly believed it is very difficult to ride a bike, it will be much more difficult for that person than someone who thought riding a bike would be easy and like nothing to do. maybe it goes the same for most things. people achieve that which they think they can achieve in their reality gauge. i knew a smart dude once who is a doctor now, he seemed to belittle everything. i didn't understand it then, but maybe he was just putting things into a perspective where things are more easily manageable and attainable. if everything is beneath him, than most things are easily achievable. so, this concept might work for getting a hob, or making money or getting hot girls. if you believe it to be a huge thing out of your realm, then, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy and it makes it that much harder to get. you will always be reaching above towards something that may or may not choose you. now, if you reverse this and think that which you want is basically like nothing and refuse to put it on a pedestal, you will be able to pick and choose from easy list of things from below you.

i'm having a hard time isolating the source, but i have been able create really vivid images in my mind lately. it's like the pictures are right there and real. it might be the high alcohol consumption or the juicing. i've drank alcohol at this rate before and didn't have this type of vividness. so, it has to be the juicing. the dreams i'm having are really realistic.

why is it that in the gym 20 pound dumbells seem or feel like nothing, but when you have them in your room by yourself. they are pretty damn heavy?

hm.. so lately i've been exercising my freedom of emotion... negative and positive. and usually where i would just hold back.. i just let it out.. and i find people apologizing. wow what a feeling for people who walk around making others feel wrong instead of thinking you are wrong all the time. all the stress and pressure falls upon the world, instead of oneself. assholes live a good life. maybe assholes are rewarded because of their honesty.

when everything is hidden and polite, you never rock the boat. you never draw the line, so everyone walks all over  you. when you are honest and vocal, you let the world know. if you do it well enough people fear you and reward you with gifts. maybe out of self-protection, maybe out of respect, maybe out of awe of that which they cannot do.

anyways, i think i'm able to be more expressive because i've been drinking a little extra alcohol lately. i have a feeling most assholes are also alcoholics. lol

you know how they promote being yourself? but, it's really hard to really pinpoint who you really are. 50% of the time, aren't you doing things because of societal and outside influence? or because your parents or schooling or religion beat it into your subconscious at an early age? think about it. people promoting you being yourself is a concept someone else created. now, if you go with that flow. you aren't being yourself, you are just doing what you've been told to do by some external influence. see, right now lots of people are becoming bi-curious or gay. is it because it is really themselves or because they see others doing it and just copying?

it is really hard to say whether the impulse and following actions are due to you being yourself or just mimicry or just following orders. damnit, it just gets too tedious if you keep thinking about it. i guess everyone is always being themselves at every moment, whether they are just following pre-created items, or being creative and doing the leadership themselves.

also, another problem with just being yourself is if a person's real self can cause harm to those around them. some people are innately animalistic and cruel. if they don't have inhibitory systems that hold them back, just being themselves can land them into jail or worse.

best case scenario is when a person has sound judgment, creative powers, and innately beneficial social attributes. fuck man, these people can be themselves all they want and will reap the benefits of this philosophy.

best time to wash dishes or clean out juicer is right after you use it while the particles are soft enough to wipe or wash away easily.

i'm gonna become a juicer professional...
atleast 1 of my 3 daily meals will become juicificated.
ordered some vegetables and fruits from the store.
my health is gonna hit the next level, up.

this winter, i'm gonna minimize my chances of catching a cold. i am thinking preemptively before the real low temperatures strike. i think most of the time i catch a cold, during sleep, my blanket falls off. also, even if the whole body is covered, usually the face is not. so i get sick from the cold temperatures hitting my face. the solution that i came up with, is the bed tent. if there is a tent close above my whole body on my bed, even if my blanket falls off, the bed tent will be protecting me from the cold. also, the bed tent will keep the heat within the area, keeping warmer than just a blanket. my face will always be within the bed tent, so my face will not get very cold either. i just need to figure out how to do it. it will sorta be like this.... i want the bed tent to hover above me only about 2-3 inches, so that it is airtight enough to keep lots of heat in.

    the bed tent
  ________________
/|__O->---<____ | |   
          me

yesss... it is done. my bed tent is ready for this winter. i wonder why i never thought of this before. maybe cashering is making my brain more efficient and practical.  my bed is located right next to a book shelf so i just stuck a board on top of that to hover over my head portion. it's kinda like those middle eastern bed thingies... looks romantic and cool.

woa, i searched the net... people have already thought of this idea.. some people took it to the next level....

see, i'm not sure if these people created these to keep warm in the winter... or protect themselves from insects. either way, gets the job done.

i dunno the details, but i have a feeling windows 7 is the same as windows xp with a new taskbar. hey, these types of minor upgrades should come free as a download or should be an easy app to install that costs .99c. not, $100+ for new cd.

also, most of my activities are internet-centric. right? all new changes that i desire are occuring within my web browser. why do i)need to change windows at all? to enjoy cosmetic changes? what a waste of money.

yea, i double checked and most everything i use is from the internet that has been installed into windows.

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you know what microsoft should do... since windows is all essentially the same in all future versions.. only minor cosmetic changes or standard changes from outside itself. it should just run ads on a free version of windows that will always update itself to the newest version of windows as long as you have ads running. also, bonus extra windows components are added if you use bing search engine as default. just an idea.

hey wes is a smart guy... the whole ruins episode is centered around him as a major theme bc of his efforts to control his group. i wonder if that's part of his calculations, to get more air time. i read on his bio that he won 125k in another challenge. i'm interested whether he gets kicked off the show first, or he control the group. if he pulls this off, it would be pretty major. what's wrong tonya, she just needs to chill out.