this whey protein shake feels lighter going down when mixed with water instead of milk. once in morning, once before sleep. 

it doesn't take much to satisfy me nowadays. McChicken Sandwich, $1.00 @ McDonalds. that's all it takes. i'm low maintenance. 

self control is god. 

so i guess this is sort of a promotion. they asked me to do surveys the whole shift. no cashiering at all. everyone hates doing surveys because it is the most interactive of jobs. i have to convince customers to do a survey. i got 27 today. half of them are easy, where their greed just wants to win $5000. the other half i have to force into somehow. it's not easy. but, i suppose i am good at it, so they put me in that position today. there are 2 other guys who is asked to only do surveys per shift. those guys use the position just to chill. everyone else is working hard cashiering and they use 25% of time just standing around. i guess it does take up lots of energy to do, so maybe they deserve to chill a bit. but they kind of take advantage of it. i tried my best to work hard all the way through.

so i have gone from social anxiety, agoraphobia to most interactive cashier... have lots more to improve upon tho. but these changes are welcome. i just need to keep doing what i'm doing and in 1 year i will be once again a different person.

i've been working at ?arget for about 11 months now.

i plan to stay for 1 more year to tweak my social skills a bit more.

then, maybe i'll be ready for a regular job. i have a feeling i will be able to handle a regular job once it's time to do so. i sorta surprise myself with cashiering and surveying, maybe it will be the same with other things too.

i like the tv commercials that these  people are putting out...

http://www.repoweramerica.org/

sign the petition, if you can. it only takes a few seconds.

self control maybe the most important factor in life. i'm starting to see this. 

don't eat after 7PM, DON'T EAT AFTER 7PM!!!! DON'T EAT AFTER SEVENNNNNN PEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't mind me , just talking to myself.

woa, 76 degrees in my room w/ no heater on. yessssss. can't wait for summer weather. 

no more eating after 7pm, NO MORE EATING AFTER 7PM!!!! NO MO EAT'N AFTER 7 PEEEEEEE EMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

don't mind me, just talking to myself.

laying low. i realized today that life is much easier if i just take a step back and stop trying to put out so much of "IT". when i put IT out too much, i draw attention, mostly negative and create feelings of competition and one-upmanship. so, for a while, i'm just gonna lay low. when i talk, i will talk smoothly and low key. when i talk i won't talk in volume, just sparingly. everything i do, i'll do it in reserve. and i am guessing this is enough to get by. maybe even have positive results from it. i will forget being 1st place, i will be chilling at 2nd, even 10th place if necessary, to just chill in the background and enjoy life quietly.

self-acceptance, and acceptance of truths. lately i am developing the skill to just see a truth and just accept it. less automatic reactions with attached negative emotions. more of just seeing something and just nodding okay. less harder on myself, on others and on reality. i can see my faults without having that excessive urge to correct it.