1. giving circumstances leeway is a good way to create a flexible attitude.
2. strict adherence to rules, ideals, expectations results in stiffness & disappointment.
3. giving a little, sacrificing for the benefit of the group or other, is how to maintain a relationship.
4. i cannot successfully function in any relationship if i always want it MY WAY.
5. give a little, take a little.
6. be tall, walk tall.
7. i can improve upon anything.
8. i can't force friendships.
9. my 8 pack rocks.
10. eat less, eat quality.
11. repay the people i owe money, asap.

so this homeless lady was showering near the double ropes at santa monica.
it was innocent enough.
i didn't pay much attention to her in the beginning bc she was fat and unattractive.
but then, she started to pull her top down partially.
then started to scrub her armpits.
ok, it was sorta odd, but still within what would be considered normal for a homeless person to do.
then, she pulls the whole top down, and starts to scrub down her breasts.

this is where the WTF triggers started going off.

so i guess she notices everyone is watching her but really doesn't care.
then, i don't know if it was on purpose.
but this semi cute caucasian lady walks by her in her swimsuit and sorta took all the
attention away from the homeless lady.
sure enough, the homeless lady noticed her attention being stolen.
she retaliates by pulling her whole bottom down.
she starts scrubbing her pussy down.
OFC all the attention is back on her.
she is totally nude at this point.
WTF!!!!
although it's a homeless lady.
there is something slightly erotic about a fully grown woman being fully nude, showering infront of you.

so, i'm kinda stimulated and don't know what to do with this energy.
so i grab onto the double ropes and start climbing to the top.
i did 3 inversions at the top.
i thought i did what i need to do to work my energy off.

but then, this freaking white dude comes up and does the same thing.
but, not only does he go upside down, he freaking hung at the top, only by his 2 feet.
WTF!!!

this guy out did my bravery.
i don't think i can top the guy.
maybe i can mimic his maneuver but that wouldn't be original.
there is always someone there to out-do you.

so i feel a bit bummed out that this guy out-did me.
so i went back to my spot and started to observe the showering woman.
she had all her clothes back on.
but, when i started to watch, she started to pull everything off again.
including the bottom.
WTF.
then she turns towards me and gave me a smile.
WTF.

too much WTF triggers going off.
i just stood up and walked away.

santa monica is really full of crazy people.
i love it.

today i was wearing a cologne called nautica, competition.
maybe my smell was making everyone around me compete to win.

for those of you who don't know what double ropes is...
it's this..

http://weblog.xanga.com/mooks_dayoo/669821280/double-rope-climb.html

fuck, it's kinda disheartening seeing only 1 view on most of my posts.
but, i guess it's ok.
it's like a self-diary.
and, letting out my thoughts onto the screen.

trust.
i think a lot of the tension i feel at work comes from not trusting my management.
i always think they are out to control me and disrespect my existance.
i'll just try to trust them.
if they don't treat me well, it's on them, not me.
they are all actually decent people.
i think i'm just paranoid.
i hate having authority figures sitting over me.
i love freedom.

today, i saw this really hot hispanic girl at work.
i helped her with finding an item.
everything went smoothly.
she said, "thaaaa~nks" in a really sweet way.
but i fucked it up by responding in a really fucked up tone of voice.
like, NO PROBLEM!!
why did i do that?
she was so perfect, i liked her and i responded semi-rudely.
wtf do i do that for?
i don't understand myself.
my voice control is crap.
i need to work on having a smooth, reliable, warm voice.

i think affirmations work best when used on the spot when needed.
otherwise, the affirmation becomes dulled and robotic.
it becomes more of a habit than a discipline.
"i am friendly" only when necessary.

WTF?
amex is sending me sweepstakes entry forms.
like they do with Publisher's Clearing House.
huh?
a prestigious credit card company is resorting to this type of marketing scheme?
what is this world coming to?????
fucking dumbasses destroying their well earned reputation with cheap stunts like this.

ofc

i affixed both stickers and put an x next to the the non-subscription FREE entry.
i hope i win, crossing fingers.

hey, how come whey protein is so popular in the milkshake form?
it fucking sucks man.
that thing tastes bad and it's a nuisance to mix & prepare.

next time, i'm getting whey protein isolate in capsule form.
just pop a couple after work outs.
how much easier is that?

a few minutes ago, i felt the areas of my body, mind & soul that are in dysfunction.
before, it was so largely part of me, that i couldn't even see it.
i was numb to it.
but, i think i'm getting close to recovery.
those dark areas will eventually turn to lightness.
the areas so accustomed to pain, suffering & numbness..
will be revitalized and made whole.
i will be able to feel again.
i will experience happiness & pleasure, once more.

this time, i know exactly how i got here.
it isn't mere emulation or subconscious mimicry of the happiness of others.
i actually learned, and got myself back to this point.
in time, i will function at a abundantly overflowing level of spiritual abode.

or

maybe it's just the 6 grams of vitamin c.

i finally figured out how to add cuttage to my upper biceps.
it's doing arm exercises with the cables.
called, lateral cable bicep curl.

yea, like this.
fuck yeaaaa.

now, what is need is the cut between the shoulders and biceps.
also, the cut between the shoulder and the triceps.

also, another breakthrough today.
i think i have an eight pack starting.
but, the bottom 2 wouldn't get defined.
i figured out the secret. it's 100 reps in the straight position.
i was going left, right, left/right,  and very little straight.
straight is lower abs.
fuck yeaaaaa.

1. took 6 grams of vitamin c yesterday.
2. dreamed of a topless mcdonalds.
3. took 25mg of **** before sleep last night.  (prolly caused the sexual dream)
4. "i feel good." "i am friendly." "i am stronger than that"
5. created a passport yesterday. i am ready to travel anywhere now, at anytime.
6. gonna start cooking again. instead of spending $3 at in-and-out. i'll use it on rare vegetables.
7. "respect yourself"

i became an expert at focusing on pain.
now, i'm gonna become an expert at focusing on pleasure.
last night i started the affirmation, "i feel good, anyways."
this morning i woke up with this sense of euphoria.
it felt really good.
like, i was in love or something.
if i continue with this affirmation...
i should be feeling really good in a few months.
i think this is an element in my personality that's been missing.
since i focused on pain so much, i became too serious.
but, if i turn my attention to the pleasures in life.
my personality should naturally lighten up.

nice sounds, good smells, good visuals, beauty, sex, sensuality, love feelings.
my journey towards pleasure has just begun.