usain bolt

sometimes i think ginseng makes me into a genius.
but, what is actually happening is that it is taking me to normal speed of thought.
my mind is so dull and slow usually.
but the ginseng takes me to a speed where i am actually functioning at natural potential.
i can respond back and forth in conversations with ease.
i can emotionally keep up with people without pausing and losing track.
it's amazing stuff, this ginseng.
i just hope i don't work up a tolerance to it.
when i'm on the stuff, the usual people who can manipulate me or control me, can't.
it's like i can finally see what they were doing this whole time.
i wonder what happens if i double the dosage?

actually, what i'm taking is not just ginseng.
it's something i bought at costco long ago, but recently just started experimenting with.

made by trunature.
called, triple energy. supports physical & mental performance.
ingredient: panax ginseng 100m, american ginseng 100mg, eleutherococcus senticosus 100mg.

i took panax ginseng alone and it doesn't have the "genius" effect.
it's the combination that's doing it.
or, one of these 3 ingredients. 

seriously, i can match the top manager's thought speed when i'm on the stuff.
and, he's a master's degree holder.

i used to think using supplements was cheating.
but, this late in life, it don't matter anymore.
i'll do whatever it takes to win.

people intake caffeine, smoke, do whatever to get that edge.
i'm gonna tweak my physical & mental composition into perfection.

i gotta give it to the chinese.
the opening ceremony FUCKING rocked.
especially the fireworks.
that is the LARGEST, magical, BURSTING light show. EVER.
not only did the fireworks spiral up towards the heavens from the stadium.
the FREAKING bursts were coming from adjacent areas surrounding it simultaneously!!!
that's so genius.
that's really thinking outside the box.
they didn't let their creativity get set within the stadium.
that was LARGE.
FUCKING LARGE.
power of 1.3 BILLION PEOPLE.
nothing to joke over.

when you seat yourself in a warm place of true confidence.
all pettiness fades from view.
what used to seem dangerous and spiteful.
doesn't even reach the zone targeted.
you just sit and observe the activity.
lots and lots of activity being exerted.
and i just sit still and just watch it.
not even a need to respond.
because it doesn't even matter.
and, this feels good. 

i'm watching everyone.
i'm gonna learn how to do it, eventually.
when i figure it out, i'll be very close to being normal.

so far, from what i can tell.

it takes flexibility of mind.
it can't be fixated on real emotions.

you have to allow your mind to go into "liar" mode.
but, a unharmful, fun, "liar"

also, it requires a certain type of enthusiasm or energy to back up the lie.
so that it makes the lie feel fun.

it also requires confidence and bravery.
you have to put your ideas & creativity out there.

if you say it without confidence, it won't stick.
if you say it with confidence, even if it isn't funny, the people will laugh.

it also has to come from a place of love.
if there is any real bitterness or resentment or hate in the tone of voice or feeling,
people will not laugh. because, it will just be real attack.

actually, lots of funny jokes are about what is real. they don't sway from the truth. and, look it straight on. and, this bravery makes it really funny because they are supposed to be quiet about it.

i guess there's so many types of jokes.
i'm gonna keep taking notes.

i'm actually sweating again while lifting. lol
i guess before, the tension was so low that i wasn't challenging my body at all.
now, i'm pouring rain from my body.
it's amazing.
i think i sweat more max'n out than running. haha
this is great, hellzyay

i was just watching top model and tyra banks was criticizing one of the models for not
being open to any suggestions. she was a know it all. she acted as if she knew everything
even more than the photographers and advisors.

then it occurred to me she is not open to criticism because she's afraid if she admits that
they are right, then it would make her wrong, or it would devalue her.
she wants to maintain her confidence. she is very beautiful, and she's not used to losing.
 
then i thought her problem would be solved if she had the mindset of thinking.
"i can learn EVEN more..." or "this information can help me to become EVEN better."

fuckit, on days like these when the workload was huge.
i'll just consider it a cardio day.
if i press myself to work out 7 days a week even on 8 hours shift days.
i might actually be harming my body than helping it.

my body will need rest anyways because i'll be max'n out from now on.
maybe it's a good thing, i'll be missing some days.

i'll instead get home, and just do a little callisthenics and get some basics done.

i figured out a good way to work the ass aka glutes today.
i don't know how to explain it, but it works.

altho i am 6% body fat, i can tell my ass & inner thighs still have some natural fat there.
my goal is to get at those areas on my callisthenics days.

once those areas are cleaned up, my body will be totally lean.

lots of girls that were really hot wore yellow today.
it's like they are on the same wavelength.

personal positive effects

1. can see more at a glance. i look in a room and see all the objects in the whole room with one view in detail.
2. my world feels larger, like the space i occupy is multiplied by 10 fold.
3. i can think faster. i feel like i'm winning against people who i usually lose to when it comes to mind games.
4. i can memorize things easier, with less effort. i start to sing songs i heard on the radio a few times and already know the words to them.
5. a euphoria observing and knowing i'm functioning with these skills

negative effect

1. burnout. after about 5-6 hours the effects wear out and i'm back to my normal self. the difference in feeling and skill set create a depressive mood. but i do notice that the ginseng effects lasts a few days.

i took one a few minutes ago, i'm gonna rock at work today.

max'n out really works.
also, the high protein diet, pre & post work out is highly effective.
i wonder if i can get 160 pounds.
that would make my body like those UFC dudes.
a real professional class body.