August 31, 2008

  • shift in thinking

    today i realized that i don't really have to be like anyone to feel good about myself.
    i don't have to adjust my emotions to others constantly.
    i can just be me & it's good enough.
    sure, some days some people will feel really high energy and i won't. and, vice versa.
    that doesn't mean things are necessarily bad, just we were different on that particular day.
    and, it really isn't a big deal.

    i also learned a new way of dealing with negative thoughts.
    i just observe that which is bothering me and think, "so what?"
    really, what's so bad about it that it should make me feel bad? nothing.
    most things are so trivial, it shouldn't even take a second away from my happiness.
    thanks bb, i got this one from you.

    also, letting people have the win.
    some people like to be boss, in my case, they really are the boss.
    i just let them be the boss.
    it shouldn't take anything away from me.
    it's just a position they have at work.
    i should let them be/do their position.
    and, i should just do a good job at getting things done.

    i stopped taking ginseng.
    my mind felt slower, but i think it's better for me that i don't take it.
    when i'm on it, i really feel too hyper and i'm moving around like an ant.
    busy, busy, busy.
    too busy.
    then, when the ginseng rocks out, then i feel drained.
    i think the ginseng also raises my estrogen, because today without it, i felt extra attracted to women.

    also, today, all day long, highly attractive women in all age ranges were everywhere. maybe it's because it's sunday. i don't know.