i didn't drink last night as planned.
i hope i'm not cranky today.
i shouldn't be if i focus on "friendliness"
prolly will take a week or 2 to really see the physical difference w/o the alcohol.
everyone keeps calling me skinny now.
but, it's the only way i can figure out to get my 6 pack going.
can't please everyone.
my current strategy is best for my digestive system, and the way my body looks.
omg this affirmation is working really well.
it's gonna revolutionize the way i interact with people.
today, for the first time, i actually was able to respond equally with a smile to a customer who was
happy after i showed him where the thermos were.
man, i hadn't smiled in a long time.
this is great.
i've been drinking 1 serving of alcohol per night for months now.
i think i'm gonna give it a rest.
but, i'm gonna replace it with using supplements like ginseng etc...
alcohol makes my skin dry.
but, it makes my eyes sparkle.
what a trade off.
is there something out there that makes my skin healthy, and make my eyes sparkle too?
answer maybe is running.
if i cut out the alcohol, it'll give my liver a chance to rest and let my skin go back to normal.
the running will keep my blood circulation high acting like an alternative to the alcohol.
it will keep my eyes sparkling and my skin healthy.
this prolly the best answer.
i think i'm close to a plateau.
talking about working out.
my body is very lean w/ decent definition & size.
this greedy portion of my self is wanting to start upping the weights and actually getting big.
but, i would start to look like one of those body builder dudes.
i think looking like that is semi-retarded.
i have to fight the greed to get bigger.
and, remind myself that i'm doing this mostly for fitness.
and, that most girls are turned off by extra-big.
i should be satisfied with what i've built, and work on maintaining it.
hey, if i take ginseng and it makes me feel more confident & active, is that cheating?
some people drink coffee to boost their mind powers.
some drink alcohol to become more playful.
but when the influence of the drug wears out, you are back to your old self.
is taking supplements to boost confidence, an easy way out?
or is it a legitimate, reasonable way to win in life?
i know taking supplements can help me win against the competition, to have that extra edge.
but, is it moral?
T***** decided to keep me as an employee.
i was on a 90 day probation.
they consider me quality enough to keep.
they are top 3 retailer in america.
so, that kinda boosts my confidence.
not only did they want to keep me, they wanted to give me raise and have me work on order processing.
but, i declined because shifts start at 6am.
i talked to HR and he told me that all executive work an average of 50 hours a week.
wtf!!! 50 hours a week.
i work about 35 and is kinda daunting.
he said he once worked a 30 hour shift.
wtf!!!! 30 hours!!!!
hahaha!
i think i'll just chill with my minimum wage job for now.
i'm not ready for such responsibility.
i'm really happy they decided to keep me.
i was afraid i'll get cut out for my personalty flaws.
but, it didn't seem to get any notice.
whew.
friendliness.
this is the one, mannnn.
this is the one that is gonna re-initiate me into the ranks of human society.
i can tell the difference in reaction from people when they talk to me.
it almost looks like they want to smile forever at me and just hug me or something. lol
i just have to make this part of my soul.
let friendliness flow from the core of myself and unlimitedly.
when i activate friendliness from within me, i am very open and talkative.
i don't chose who or when i am friendly, it is a constant activity.
i didn't care if the person i was communicating with was ugly or fat or a stranger.
i was just friendly.
i'm gonna focus on being friendly as much as i did with my goal of losing my weight.
this is gonna be an relentlessly persistent activity for the rest of my life.
also, hong 10 is probably one of the best breakdancers i've ever seen.
he doesn't get fixated on just power moves.
his moves fucking flow like no other.
his confidence is so high, you can't help but agree he is da shit.
he is helllaaaaa relaxed and he's on stage in front of thousands.
this dude is amazing.
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