One night when I was a child, I remember complaining about how little
money my father had given me prior to attending my elementary school's
carnival. He probably gave me $20, but this was not enough. I had this
strange sense of entitlement. It was never enough. In my mind, I
deserved the MOST. Our kind employee, Sumio-San, overheard me
complaining. He somehow felt sympathy for me, opened up his wallet and
handed me a $5 bill.
I
rememebr seeing the $5 bill and thinking it was trash. I threw the
money in the air, turned, and ran away even before I could see it fall
to the ground!!!
OMG !! What fucking asshole of a kid I was!!!
I
think this strange sense of entitlement follows me to this day. It
keeps my world narrow. I cannot expand because somehow I think I
already deserve EVERYTHING.
BUT...
I'm learning to
appreciate all that I have. I got a new motto... "Be thankful for
anything that comes my way." I started chanting this in my mind a few
days back. It's made a huge difference in perspective. There was a
self-created ceiling in my mind. I broke through by being thankful and
having gratitude of all that is great in this world. When I am
thankful, my position of arrogance and entitlement is switched to one
of humility. With this humility & gratitude, my mind's world is
expanded wide open. The ceiling is gone and I realize I have so much to
grow. I haven't even tapped my potential. I realize this and am
thankful for this. This is what I was thinking today while driving back
from Costco, Motherfuckers.
Mukai.
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