May 7, 2007

• article on happiness

  c’np from Chihoe
  

  Happiness

  At Last! All the Secrets of Happiness Explained!
  

  Scientists reveal the 12 secrets that keep happy people smiling.

  By Kristyn Kusek Lewis

   

  What
  would it take for you to be truly happy? A new house? Flat abs? In this
  era of reality-show fantasies, extreme gratification seems like the
  only key to lifelong happiness. But while we’re all for the
  mood-boosting power of brand-new bedroom furniture (and a bear hug from
  Ty Pennington, for that matter), researchers who study happiness say
  these external changes don’t do much for your long-term state of mind.
  In fact, positive events like losing some extra weight and even
  life-altering milestones like getting married cause only a brief
  “bounce” of bliss that fades fast, allowing your old outlook to return
  full-force.

  “What makes people truly happy is how they live ‘inside of themselves,’” says Dan Baker, Ph.D., author of the best-selling What Happy People Know and
  director of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch Health Resort
  in Tucson, AZ. “Meaning that if you want enduring satisfaction, you
  have to approach life with a mind-set that allows you to walk on the
  bright side, no matter what’s thrown at you.”
  Don’t worry—this
  doesn’t mean that you have to be perpetually chipper to be happy.
  Rather, decades of research indicate that true bliss stems from
  possessing 12 distinct characteristics that enable you to navigate
  life’s rough spots with greater ease and feel content no matter the
  outcome. The good news: You already have most of these qualities—it’s
  just a matter of tapping into them. Read on to discover the
  science-backed secrets to lasting happiness.
  1. Optimism
  Embracing
  all of your life experiences—even the really painful ones—with the
  knowledge that something good inevitably will come out of them is what
  optimism is all about. “It helps minimize fears about the future that
  could otherwise become debilitating, allowing you to move past them
  more quickly and ultimately lead a more carefree life,” says Baker.
  Case in point: A classic study from the University of Massachusetts
  found that accident victims who had become suddenly paralyzed were more
  hopeful about the future than lottery winners.
  The reason: The tragedy allowed them to see that most of the stuff that gets us down isn’t really worth fretting over. 

  To
  become a more “glass half-full” thinker, take stock of how past bad
  experiences may have benefited you in the long run. For instance,
  perhaps getting dumped by your college sweetheart made you available
  when your true love arrived on the scene. And when you’re anticipating
  rough times—say, a crushing week of work deadlines—devise an “optimism
  emergency plan”: Make a list of what you hope to gain from the
  experience, and ask yourself if there’s an opportunity to learn or
  grow. Approaching a potentially bad situation with an open and eager
  mind primes you to see the upside in everything.
  2. Love.
  Having
  a sense of compassion for the people in your life and knowing that
  you’re cared for in return is one of the biggest predictors of
  happiness, says Baker. Whether it’s the thrill of romantic love or
  nurturing parental love, feelings of companionship provide a comforting
  sense of belonging that enhances overall life satisfaction. One of the
  most well-documented ways to increase the love in your life: share
  quality time with others.
  “Feeling isolated makes it easy to succumb
  to negative feelings like self-doubt and insecurity,” explains David
  Niven, Ph.D., author of The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People.
  “But
  spending time with loved ones strengthens the human connections that
  silence those self-defeating thoughts and improve mood.” So keep
  planning movie nights with girlfriends, and enlist the company of
  others when you’d normally be alone. For instance, instead of throwing
  dinner together solo, ask your guy to help out. And to experience the
  mood-buoying effects of loving bonds even when you’re alone, carry
  photos of loved ones in your wallet and peek at their smiling faces for
  an anytime pick-me-up.

  3. Courage
  Being courageous
  means acting in accordance with your personal values, an empowering
  practice that enhances your sense of self. “If you behave contrary to
  what you believe, you go to war with yourself,” warns Baker. But stand
  up for what’s important to you, and the pride you feel will increase
  personal satisfaction.
  For the majority of women, this means
  curing the “disease to please” and speaking up even when you risk
  causing a stir, such as saying no to a neighbor who’s always asking for
  a favor. When your life is in line with your sense of right and wrong,
  you avoid falling victim to happiness-sapping self-doubt.
  4. Sense of choice
  Research
  has found that people who describe themselves as “autonomous” and
  “self-governing” are up to three times more likely to be satisfied with
  their lives. These individuals know they have the power to opt out when
  a situation no longer suits them, Niven explains, so when things get
  bad, they make the active choice to change matters.
  An easy (and
  enjoyable!) way to practice your power of choice is to indulge in your
  favorite pastimes whenever possible. Remember, you decide what goes on
  your to-do list, so opt to add that occasional afternoon of watching
  bad TV in your pj’s. And if feelings of guilt threaten to ruin the
  moment, remind yourself that checking off this to-do will enable you to
  approach the rest of your chores with a more positive and invigorated
  attitude.
  5. Proactivity
  The happiest people are always
  on the hunt for new experiences thanks to a natural zest for life. To
  fire up your inner passion, Baker recommends setting a goal of making
  one mistake every single day. This encourages you to try new
  experiences you might otherwise have avoided out of fear of failure
  (like testing out the freaky-looking weight contraption at the gym!).
  Plus, exercising your curiosity in this manner is proven to promote
  happiness: Neurology researchers have found that diving into a fresh
  experience triggers the production of dopamine, one of the body’s
  “feel-good” chemicals.
  6. Security
  True security means
  feeling good about your current place in life. It’s recognizing that
  becoming rich or the most popular party host on the block will only get
  you a bigger, more crowded house. It won’t change you, and
  that’s a good thing. “Happy people simply like who they are,” says
  Baker. “They’re not slaves to popularity or financial status.”     
  Security
  also stems from the knowledge that who you are today is the culmination
  of all the little moments in your history that can never be taken away
  from you. Your family history, your education, shared experiences with
  loyal friends—none of these things can be whisked away by the whims of
  fate, a fact that instills a sense of grounding and inner peace. So
  whenever you’re feeling off-kilter, Niven recommends conjuring one of
  those self-defining moments (accepting your diploma, say, or listening
  to your best friend’s toast at your wedding). Mentally reliving these
  formative experiences will help you keep your footing in the rockiest
  of situations.
  7. Good health
  The mind and body are
  intrinsically connected, so taking care of yourself both above and
  below the neck makes for head-to-toe happiness. “One of my favorite
  quotes is from a famous 1920s physician who said, ‘Health is the
  optimal condition that allows for the ultimate engagement in life,’ ”
  says Baker. “What he’s saying is that health doesn’t necessarily mean
  being fit, but being able to live fully.”
  The easiest way to
  achieve this optimal state of being: Get moving. Regular activity—be it
  walking, dancing, or playing Frisbee with your dog—releases endorphins
  (the substances responsible for a runner’s high) and increases levels
  of the feel-good brain chemical serotonin. Best of all, just 10 minutes
  of exercise is all it takes to produce the mood-boosting brain changes,
  according to Northern Arizona University researchers.
  8. Spirituality
  People
  who tap into their spiritual side have greater life satisfaction than
  those who don’t, according to a growing body of research. It reminds us
  that life may have bigger meaning beyond our knowing, explains Niven,
  so we don’t dwell so much on the little things. Research also reveals
  that religion can have a positive effect on both physical and mental
  health: People who regularly pray or attend religious services are less
  likely to suffer from hypertension, anxiety disorders, and depression,
  according to experts at Duke University’s Center for Spirituality,
  Theology and Health. Any soulful act, including meditation, walking in
  the woods, reading an inspiring book, or listening to a moving piece of
  music, can help you dial into the bigger picture, assures Baker.
  9. Altruism
  Giving
  without expectation is one of the easiest ways to feel good about
  yourself, your world, and life in general: “Altruism connects you to
  others, gives you a purpose, and gets you outside yourself,” says
  Baker. Having a positive impact on somebody else’s life generates
  feelings of goodwill that help minimize whatever negativity might be
  occurring in your own life. Looking for inspiration? Log on to
  volunteermatch.org, a nonprofit site that allows you to search for
  philanthropic organizations in your area that match your interests. And
  if you’re strapped for time, don’t fret: Taking a girlfriend out for a
  hot-fudge sundae when she’s having a rough week has the same
  happiness-inducing benefits as participating in an organized volunteer
  program.
  10. Perspective
  Happy people mentally frame
  life experiences so that the good features prominently in the
  forefront, while the bad is that fuzzy, out-of-focus backdrop. For
  example, one study at the University of Georgia found that happy
  workers who’d just been promoted were ecstatic about the new
  opportunity, whereas unhappy employees dreaded the additional work that
  came with the bigger title.
  To adopt a positive viewpoint, Niven
  suggests comparing a seemingly bad situation to the worst-case
  scenario. For instance, getting up at 5 a.m. for work isn’t fun, but
  would you rather wake up later for a job you hate—or worse, no job at
  all? “If you measure your current happiness against the greatest
  moments in your life, you might be disappointed because those moments
  are hard to beat,” Niven explains. “But if you measure today’s
  satisfaction against some of your tougher days, you have all the reason
  in the world to appreciate your life right now.”
  11. Humor
  “Finding
  humor in a bad situation is a shift in perception that gives people the
  guts to push forward even when things look grim,” says Baker. Laughter
  also causes physiologic changes in the body that make you feel good:
  When something tickles your funny bone, you experience a spike in
  feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine, while levels of the
  stress hormone cortisol drop. Make an effort to experience some funny
  stuff each day, whether it’s by reading the comics in the newspaper or
  tuning in to your favorite talk show host at night. One genuine laugh a
  day is all you need to lighten up about life, says Niven.
  12. Purpose
  Having
  a reason to bound out of bed every morning is one of the most
  sustaining sources of happiness because it gives you something positive
  to focus your life on. Some find purpose in being a phenomenal mother
  and wife. Others find it in teaching and inspiring kids, or mentoring
  junior colleagues at work.
  “If you’re not sure what your purpose is,
  then your purpose is to find a passion,” says Baker. Start by engaging
  in small activities that light up your day and give you a sense of
  truly being you.
  For instance, sign up for an acting
  workshop if you have a burning desire to be on the stage. Check out
  books about pet care if you have an interest in animals. Even joining a
  social group like a book club could open doors to new experiences and
  relationships that reveal your true path. And once you’ve discovered
  your passion, practice it daily. “When what you do with your daily life
  really talks to your heart, you’ll be truly happy,” says Baker.

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